R.E.S.I.D.U.E and You

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Hello my beautiful sisters! Will you journey with me today?

You ever get that song in your head after something takes place? Maybe that’s just me. Everything has a song when it comes to my over imaginative mind. I just stepped out to walk my dog Bethany and the song lyrics, “I can see clearly now, the rain is gone” , popped in my head. Lol! Yep, for the past two days it’s been raining non-stop, until today.  And proof is everywhere. The remnant of its massive downpour has left debris everywhere! Some recognizable artifacts, and others unrecognizable. I see myself interested in the unrecognizable for some odd reason. I wonder to myself, ‘Where in the world did you come from?’ This residue, despite its audacity to be in my way, has its reasons for being there. Left there because of current happenings…it’s there.  A storm.

Storms

Storms always leave something behind. Pain, fear, disaster. In my case, a brown, odd shaped, unrecognizable thingy. I wasn’t quite sure what it was but it’s there. Actually, tons of them were lying around. I get grossed out pretty quick, but in my attempt to step over it and keep walking I bravely decided to take a closer look. But to my amazement something beautiful occurred. In each step I discovered that storms may come to destroy, but we can never forget that what was destroyed or whatever remains, once had beauty to it…and there’s hope that it can recover and be restored.

My Journey, My Mission

Angel Penn of Experience His Freedom Blog, is so graciously allowing myself and a few other women share her platform in the month of May. She inspired us to choose a woman of influence from the Bible. Nope, I am not going to tell you who I chose, nor the choices of the other ladies. All I will say is you and your friends need to head over to https://www.angelpenn.com/biblical-women-of-influence/ . Starting May 7th your life will forever be blessed. God is ready to do some heavy healing  and inspiring in the lives of the women He loves, and that’s you boo!

With all that being said, as I blogged on my woman of experience, I was inspired again to step up and start speaking up on my passion. This passion is to encourage women who have been abused in any kind of way, to LIVE! This isn’t something I don’t know about. As a victim of of sexual abuse myself, I understand how difficult it is to pick up and do life once it’s been taken away from you. Whether it’s sexual, physical, verbal, or mental abuse…any abnormal use of your life, it can cause you to completely lose yourself or your identity. Even now as I am typing I ache because I know I’m not the only one not fully living because of someones careless act. But I come to give you hope today, there is hope. And it’s found in trusting God. When we realize that He loves us, and He is our Father, and that He has a beautiful plan for our lives…that plan is not to harm or hurt us, but to give us a hope and a future…then ladies, we will NEVER be the same. There is beauty in our ashes…in our residue. All we have to do is hand it over to Him…and trust Him.

God Uses Storms

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Residue~Something that remains after a part is removed, disposed of or used.

You remember that deluge I talked to you about earlier? well lets go a step further. As I continued to walk further I saw another item on the ground that showed some resemblance to the first item I encountered. At a closer glance, yes, yes it was the same thing as before, but it hadn’t yet changed colors. It still held on to its state of orange and yellow beauty. Though surrounded by the evidence of the storm it still had hope.

If I can be honest, I believe this is where I am in my life. I am beginning to hope again. It has been revealed that I have lived most of my life trying to find myself. My true self…adventurous, sensitive, shy, loving, curious, creative and kind…has dwindled over the years because of storms. Storms that have left debris i wouldn’t wish on anyone. The only thing I knew to do was to cover it up with anything that would keep people from hurting me again. Though it’s never easy to admit things like that, I am so thankful I am becoming more and more free…and now I can speak it out. God never intended for us to hide. As we become His, and accept Jesus as our Lord and Savoir,we must know that God does not want us to stay the same. I don’t want to stay the same. So when God moved me from everything I knew in 2016, to  be alone with Him; He began, and still is, cleaning up residue. I can’t begin to tell you what it all is. Things I didn’t even know surrounded my broken heart. Yes, I had a broken heart…and if God didn’t pull me out of my physical place, Louisiana (using an actual flood) and bring me to Charlotte…I can almost guarantee you, I’d be headed towards a broken life. I was barely hanging on. Friends could no longer sustain me. Talents could no longer hide me. I was sitting alive in church and dying. I was headed towards a wasted life…and fast. God was ready to do some clean up!

Residue

Residue can come in many ways. But it can only come when something is removed. Something has to be taken away. This can be in a bad way; in my case, sexual abuse. In a good way; and again in my case God removing me from a particular environment. Either way its the removal of a thing that leaves residue. When it comes to our Enemy and residue…he totally wants to destroy us, and bring us harm. Thankfully, God tells us through the story Joseph,

“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives” (Exodus 50:20)

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As many times I have read or heard this Scripture, it has never sounded so sweet and refreshing to me. The enemy wants to harm us ladies. I have seen him harm so many of my sisters and friends to no return, but God wants to give us life. He wants to bring us good. I am not all the way sure of my life and what my future holds, but I do know it brings hope. God’s removal brings hope to the residue that remains. Those things lying around…that are left to be dealt with are not for you to clean up on your own. They are for you to partner up with God. He wants to see you free and alive. What we go through isn’t just for us, but for others. We can spot other peoples residue because we remember what ours looked like. When we allow God to help us clean up our lives here are a few things that happen:

Rebirth- We are given new life! And it’s more beautiful than you can image.

Expectancy- You will begin to hope, dream and expect for good things to happen to you and for you again.

Surprise- God wants to surpass what you can even imagine for your life! Just say “Hey God, Surprise me!” And He will!!!

Identity- To be like, sound like, look like, and think like Christ is the Christians ultimate goal. I want to be just like my Father in Heaven. And I can have that through Christ, where my life is found. (Read Colossians 3:3)

Desire- The closer we get to God, the more we see His heart. The more we see His heart, the more we see His plans and desires for our lives. That’s honestly all most of us want. With His plans, we don’t have to waste time looking for our own. (Read Psalm 37:4)

Uniqueness- We all have a unique story. That uniqueness isn’t just for you, but for others. Remember, Joseph told us in Exodus 50:20 that what he went through was for the saving of lives. Ask God to show you how to use your story to save lives. The wise save lives! (Read Proverbs 11:30)

Eternal Life- There’s more beyond this life. God has a resting place and home for us with Him in Heaven. I can’t wait to go. Until then our work isn’t done. Our story can help others find Eternal Life with God too. Don’t get discouraged, do the work. Eternal life awaits us.

Ladies, I hope this blessed you like it did me. Go back and look at the pictures I posted. They are actual pictures I took today, and they blessed me. I want to live. I know God has so much more work He has to do in my life. I am willing to participate. Life right now may seem dried up, useless,  and even dead looking to you like that first picture, but like the second picture know that there is yet hope…regardless of the residue that surrounds your life; partner with God, allow him to clean things up. Don’t hide anything. Open your heart to Him, and like the last picture…you will bloom! I love you!

Until our next journey….

We all need laughing buddies!

I actually overslept today. I’m not sure if it’s a good thing, but my body sure did need it. I’m actually still in the bed. I have read the Word, laughed by text with a friend (a much needed laugh… YOU NEED LAUGHING BUDDIES!!!), and now I’m wanting to share my heart with you about, well two things… 1. Facing disappointment and 2. True religion. Sounds like two completely different blogs but it will all make since in a few secs.

So my last blog we celebrated my 38th birthday, my coming out of comfortability…My walking season. Basically my John 5 moment. And I must say, it has been a good 2 weeks. My relationship with God is blossoming. I’m relearning both Him and myself. I’ve taken a lot of pressure off of myself, and learning to do the same with others(thanks to a wonderful message about friends by my pastor). Yet, at the same time I have faced a few disappointments. Some ups and downs. And the enemy wants me to be upset at God for not answering like I wanted Him to. But as my Father and friend, I choose to trust and believe His abilities to sustain my life, and trust His character…that He is FAITHFUL!

Ok, so on to religion. I asked God, “So what was the young man in John 5’s, life like after he was healed by Jesus?” I was wondering, were there bumps in the road? Struggles? Disappointments? Happiness? If you pay close attention; right after he was healed, he came into conflict with religious leaders. They basically wanted to steal Jesus’s shine. The glory of God was reflecting from this young man’s life and they were being a bunch of haters.

So I begin thinking about religion, and its reputation these days…mainly in the church. They call it a religious spirit. I believe it’s a real thing, but I also believe it works in two ways:

1. It keeps people away from God’s truth.

2. It keeps people from being truthful with God.

You see, truth is truth. There are no lies in truth. A Religious spirit has one job… To lie! That’s it! And because people are so fixated on it, they are being lied too! Now you have a watered down Gospel that glorifies wrong doing.

There is a true religion. Jesus talks about it in James 1:27,

Pure, unstained religion, according to God our Father, is to take care of orphans and widows when they suffer and to remain uncorrupted by this world.

A religious spirit offers corruption to the church. Just like those religious leaders tried to offer the young man corruption right after he was healed. They tried to corrupt the very work of God. And if you allow it too, a religious spirit can do the same to you. This is probably why Jesus told the young man,

See, you are well again. Stop sinning or something worse may happen to you.  (John 5:14)

He needed to bring reassurance to the man, reminding him of the miracle that took place. Reassuring him that sin can take you to a place worse than you were before, if you let it. Or if you allow lies to disruption His truth.

With all of this being said, I’d like to encourage you today…. LAUGH! Laugh in the face of your enemy, who is trying to discount the Miracles of Heaven in your life. LAUGH at disappointment, though hard at the moment, do it anyway(My friend Bridgette helped me with that one. Thanks Bridge! ❤️) LAUGH at anything and anyone who would try to take God’s truth away from you…and watch them…well, watch them first feel a little stupid because you’re laughing in their FACE!! LOL!!…then watch them scurry. Like really, LAUGH OUT LOUD!!! Til your face hurts, like mine is right now!

Til next time sisters! ✌🏾

Where did the Lie Begin in Your Life

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Hello sister, it’s evening and I’m hitting the sack pretty early, but before I slip into la la land, I have a question to ask…hold up let me sip some of this good ole Yogi Caramel Bedtime tea.

Ok I’m back! So, my question is where did the lies in your life begin. I ask this because you all know recently I celebrated my 38th Birthday. I took God on His offer… I got up, picked up my mat, and I’m walking now. Walking is quiet a experience, especially if you haven’t in a long time. Walking helps you to think. You hear more and see more. Many of you probably haven’t been sitting like I have…maybe you’ve been running and haven’t had the time to slow down. In the great words of Medea, “Get somewhere and SAT down!” lol!

I’ve had the opportunity in these short few days to see what’s in me…what’s around me. What belongs and what doesn’t. And I’m noticing that the things that don’t belong are all built on the same thing…a lie. Lies are life changers. I mean they are cruel…down right mean. If you believe them… IT’S OVER!! Well, that’s if you don’t correct them.

I’m correcting 30 year old lies. I ask God where it began. When He shows me, I repent for believing it over His TRUTHS, and then I hand it over to Him. It no longer has permission or authority to rule me. It’s not always easy to uproot them, but that’s why God has given us each other, to love pray and support each other.

Can you think of a specific area of your life that is rooted in a lie?

My prayer is that everyone who reads this blog will be able to see clearly any lie that has caused them to live beneath all God has created them to be. I’m thanking God for your freedom right now, in Jesus’ Name, Amen.

OK, the tea is kicking in!!! Night Night😊

You Can’t Get There Sitting Down…Get Up!!!

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Where should I start? I’m here on the couch in the dark counting down the hours… The hours until my 38th Birthday! You can’t believe it, and neither can I! Two years from 40? Daaaaaaannnnng! Every year I try to hear from the Lord… at least the night before. But this year He spoke to me earlier.

Jesus told him, “Stand up, pick up your mat, and walk!” (John 5:8)

Of course I go and Google…. Scripture on pick up your mat and walk. I’m led to John 5, the story of the man at the pool of Bathesda, who for 38 years struggled to get himself in the waters that could heal him. Why? Because he had no one to help him get in, and people just went ahead of him. But one day Jesus came on the scene and asked him, gosh, the most beautiful question anyone would want to hear

Do you want to be made whole? (John 5:6)

The man’s reply,

I can’t, I have no one to help me… (John 5:7)

There was only one time I could remember getting a little ticked at a Word from God. WHAT IN THE WORLD DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH ME????

I love God! That’s a promise. I’ll be honest though, for the past year He’s had to convince me that I’m not his unloved stepchild. Act like you don’t know! It’s been a lonely and difficult year for me physically and spiritually. I actually wanted to quit ministry and live a normal life. I’m talkin’ `bout; go home to my momma, move into my old room; find a job; and marry someone in that town, raise a family and call it a life. Who cared? God did!

In showing me this Scripture, He told me, “Angel, do you want to be made whole? I had every complaint from fear, to friends abandoning me, to not knowing my future. His reply,” Stop looking for people to help you.” Let me help you.”

He began to show me how He knows I have given so much to everyone, even reminding me of a dream I once had where everyone was drawing and taking from me. I had all this gold, and when they took it all, all I had left was this old anchor. Now was that time! He is my Anchor. He said “It’s time for you to depend on Me. Completely and wholeheartedly.” His next words pierced me to the core:

You will not go into 38 lame!!!

That man was 38 years old. For 38 years he sat by that pool waiting for someone to help him get in. People had no concern about him…they wanted healing too! It took Jesus, the Healer, to let him know that He saw him, and he was no longer going to sit by some pool to get what only God could truly give him. It’s not that Jesus didn’t care about his feelings. But the man needed to know that he could have what he asked for if he only believed. When the man said, “I can’t”, Christ said, “I can” “Now, Get up, pick up your mat, and walk.” And the man…well, he did. He just got up!

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So, for the past few days I have been getting up…walking! Letting go of things. Stripping off weights. I’ve stopped looking at the phone and waiting for people to call. I’ve been forgiving people of their faults. I’ve been leaning on my Anchor, not others, and not myself. It feels good. At times scary….you know when you first start walking, it’s a little wobbly, but I’m walking.

My prayers for my birthday, to you my beautiful sisters is this:

That this year you get up, pick up your mat, (any place of comfort), and walk. You have so much in life to do. You can’t get there sitting down. You’re a child of God, a Daughter of God, with much to say and proclaim. His blessings await you, and others do too! Just…Get Up!

Hey you… Yes you

Hey you! Pay close attention.  #YouAreEnough maybe you can’t whip up the courage to believe it right now…Life threw you a curve ball this year, right? I understand. May you got divorced, separated, cheated on, lost some friends…

But don’t let that determine who “You” are! Another person’s choice or decision should not dictate who #You are. It shouldn’t make you go out and try to become something you are not. That’s what we do right?

We pile on things to make it seem like we’re accomplished, trying to prove to that person “I got it together boo”. We become this complete stranger, only to be let down more. 

We become defiant, rebellious, bitter, etc. And we feel everyone is against us, right? 

Let’s try something new. Gather yourself….and Let God transform your mind and you find yourself in him. Not the decisions of others. You can do this! #YouAreBetterThanThis It gets #Better So much better! 

Great Things are coming!!! #GreatThingsIn18

Go Get Her! 

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It’s been awhile since I have blogged. Life has been mentally busy for me. With the new year coming,  I’ve basically decided to start my new year now.  I mean, why wait?  I’ve also decided to adopt the phrase, “New Year, New Mindset”, because I will always be “me”, but “me” won’t become better unless my mind changes. (T-shirt coming soon). So I’m investing in myself, mentally. I’m ditching the past for the future. In all honesty, I’m scared. My past has been my go to person. This moment has always been a thought, and now it’s happening. But I’m willing to take the risk of becoming the woman God has called me to be.

Some other things I am doing is writing my first book, and my first curriculum for God-Shaped Curriculum. How exciting! My hopes are to find a new adventure here in my new city, Charlotte, and enjoy life. But most of all I desire to have breakthroughs in my personal life. I’m excited to be partnering with God on this.

Why am I blabbing on about what I call my #GreatThingsIn18? Well, because I want you to GO-GET-HER! You are worth finding and worth loving. What is it that you want? What are God’s promises over your life? Have you written them down yet? Go-Get-Her! You are worth it! You were born to discover who you are, who God is, and fulfill your purpose in the Earth. And it’s all possible. So Go-Get-Her!

Love, Angel

Held Back


I remember one of the most devastating times of my childhood. I missed the last part of my second grade year because of the chicken pox. Boo! But that wasn’t the devastation. All I remember was my siblings coming home on the last day of school and my mom informing me that I would be repeating the second grade. I then remember the first day of school of repeating the second grade. The fear and the embarrassment of my old classmates seeing me in the second grade hall and me seeing them in the third grade hall was a sheer nightmare. I had been held back because of my inability to learn. I was a bright kid. I loved learning, but for some reason I didn’t make the cut.

I’m just realizing how much this has effected my life. I see the pattern of my inability to learn in a specific season, only having to go back and have to repeat that season again. Being held back told me I was no good, unable, not smart enough, and inadequate. I believed it and followed suit. I pretended to be dumb at times to avoid being rejected again. I wouldn’t allow myself to be great. And years later I’m still digging myself out of the holes of these lies, and it isn’t easy.

Maybe something similar happened to you. I know it’s difficult to rewire yourself. But there is a real you. That real you has been made by God from the beginning of time since the day you were born. God has a specific plan for you, and maybe life has caused you to think differently. Cease to strive. Breathe! Relax!  Take a moment to ask God “Who am I, really?” “Who did you originally make me to be before all this happened?” Allow Him to redirect and reverse every lie; or every attempt that tries to make you less than who He has meant for you to be.