I remember one of the most devastating times of my childhood. I missed the last part of my second grade year because of the chicken pox. Boo! But that wasn’t the devastation. All I remember was my siblings coming home on the last day of school and my mom informing me that I would be repeating the second grade. I then remember the first day of school of repeating the second grade. The fear and the embarrassment of my old classmates seeing me in the second grade hall and me seeing them in the third grade hall was a sheer nightmare. I had been held back because of my inability to learn. I was a bright kid. I loved learning, but for some reason I didn’t make the cut.
I’m just realizing how much this has effected my life. I see the pattern of my inability to learn in a specific season, only having to go back and have to repeat that season again. Being held back told me I was no good, unable, not smart enough, and inadequate. I believed it and followed suit. I pretended to be dumb at times to avoid being rejected again. I wouldn’t allow myself to be great. And years later I’m still digging myself out of the holes of these lies, and it isn’t easy.
Maybe something similar happened to you. I know it’s difficult to rewire yourself. But there is a real you. That real you has been made by God from the beginning of time since the day you were born. God has a specific plan for you, and maybe life has caused you to think differently. Cease to strive. Breathe! Relax! Take a moment to ask God “Who am I, really?” “Who did you originally make me to be before all this happened?” Allow Him to redirect and reverse every lie; or every attempt that tries to make you less than who He has meant for you to be.