Where should I start? I’m here on the couch in the dark counting down the hours… The hours until my 38th Birthday! You can’t believe it, and neither can I! Two years from 40? Daaaaaaannnnng! Every year I try to hear from the Lord… at least the night before. But this year He spoke to me earlier.
Jesus told him, “Stand up, pick up your mat, and walk!” (John 5:8)
Of course I go and Google…. Scripture on pick up your mat and walk. I’m led to John 5, the story of the man at the pool of Bathesda, who for 38 years struggled to get himself in the waters that could heal him. Why? Because he had no one to help him get in, and people just went ahead of him. But one day Jesus came on the scene and asked him, gosh, the most beautiful question anyone would want to hear
Do you want to be made whole? (John 5:6)
The man’s reply,
I can’t, I have no one to help me… (John 5:7)
There was only one time I could remember getting a little ticked at a Word from God. WHAT IN THE WORLD DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH ME????
I love God! That’s a promise. I’ll be honest though, for the past year He’s had to convince me that I’m not his unloved stepchild. Act like you don’t know! It’s been a lonely and difficult year for me physically and spiritually. I actually wanted to quit ministry and live a normal life. I’m talkin’ `bout; go home to my momma, move into my old room; find a job; and marry someone in that town, raise a family and call it a life. Who cared? God did!
In showing me this Scripture, He told me, “Angel, do you want to be made whole? I had every complaint from fear, to friends abandoning me, to not knowing my future. His reply,” Stop looking for people to help you.” Let me help you.”
He began to show me how He knows I have given so much to everyone, even reminding me of a dream I once had where everyone was drawing and taking from me. I had all this gold, and when they took it all, all I had left was this old anchor. Now was that time! He is my Anchor. He said “It’s time for you to depend on Me. Completely and wholeheartedly.” His next words pierced me to the core:
You will not go into 38 lame!!!
That man was 38 years old. For 38 years he sat by that pool waiting for someone to help him get in. People had no concern about him…they wanted healing too! It took Jesus, the Healer, to let him know that He saw him, and he was no longer going to sit by some pool to get what only God could truly give him. It’s not that Jesus didn’t care about his feelings. But the man needed to know that he could have what he asked for if he only believed. When the man said, “I can’t”, Christ said, “I can” “Now, Get up, pick up your mat, and walk.” And the man…well, he did. He just got up!
So, for the past few days I have been getting up…walking! Letting go of things. Stripping off weights. I’ve stopped looking at the phone and waiting for people to call. I’ve been forgiving people of their faults. I’ve been leaning on my Anchor, not others, and not myself. It feels good. At times scary….you know when you first start walking, it’s a little wobbly, but I’m walking.
My prayers for my birthday, to you my beautiful sisters is this:
That this year you get up, pick up your mat, (any place of comfortability), and walk. You have so much in life to do. You can’t get there sitting down. You’re a child of God. His blessings await you! Just…Get Up!